17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time
to write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like.
"I wowed 'em," he later told his father, Bruce. "It's a killer. It's the
bomb. It's the best thing I ever wrote."
It also was the last. Brian's parents had forgotten about the essay when
a cousin found it while cleaning out the teenager's locker at Teary Valley
High School. Brian had been dead only hours, but his parents desperately
wanted every piece of His life near them-notes from classmates and teachers,
his homework.
Only two months before, he had handwritten the essay about encountering
Jesus in a file room full of cards detailing every moment of the teen's
life. But it was only after Brian's death that Beth and Bruce Moore realized
that their son had described his view of heaven. It makes such an impact
that people want to share it. "You feel like you are there." Mr. Moore said.
Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving
home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway
County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but
stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.
The Moore's framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family
portraits in the living room. "I think God used him to make a point. I think
we were meant to find it and make something out of it. " Mrs. Moore said
of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life
after death. "I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see
him."
Brian's Essay: The Room... In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in
the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall
covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries
that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files,
which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction,
had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first
to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it
and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize
that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being
told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files
was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of
my every moment, big and small, in detail my memory couldn't match.
A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within
me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought
joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that
I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named
"Friends" was next to one-marked "Friends I have betrayed," The titles ranged
from the mundane to the outright weird." Books I have Read," Lies I Have
Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed at." Some were almost
hilarious in their exactness:" Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others
I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger"," Things I Have Muttered
Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.
Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I
hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could
it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands
or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was
written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature. When I pulled
out the file marked "TV Shows I have watched," I realized the files grew
to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't
found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality
of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented. When I
came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my
body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size,
and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to
think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke
on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards!
No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy
I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and
burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the
floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled
out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.
Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning
my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then
I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle
was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its
handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands.
I could count the cards it contained on one hand. And then the tears came.
I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach
and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame,
from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled
in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must
lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him.
Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open
the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And
in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow
deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why
did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across
the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that
didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began
to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said
so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one
end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name
over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find
to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be
on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, and so
alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He
gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards.
I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next
instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.
He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up,
and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were
still cards to be written. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens
me."-
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